Forgiveness

A friend sent me the following note yesterday. I pondered it all night and it forced me to do a "personal" inventory of my own actions. It was a painful night. I didn't sleep much. Here we go......

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best
friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry
because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you
love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've
never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute
of happiness you'll never get back. So send this to all of your friends in
the next 5 minutes and a miracle will happen tonight.

I didn't send it to all of my friends. I don't like to be forced into doing something because of superstition or to "buy" a miracle. I just found it very thought provoking. I did write to three special people and after I shared the little verse with them, I asked for their forgiveness for the times I might have said or done something to hurt them. Each one is special to me and I still have another one to send a snail mail letter to doing the same thing.

Growing up I did have one person that should never have let me down...and perhaps they didn't....but from my prospective they did and it has hurt for a lifetime. I wish we could have talked about it and maybe we could have come to some mutual understanding. We didn't.

Who hasn't had their heart broken? Name me one person. I can't think of a living soul who has not had their heart broken several times. Mine seems to crumble when someone I love says something unkind or harsh or blames me for something I really didn't do! And I realize I have broken a few hearts along the way myself. I don't handle confrontation well at all. I have an inferior complex that goes into overtime sometimes and I can't control it and that makes me upset with myself. Broken hearts can be mended but the scars never leave. You can forgive people you love if they try not to hurt you again...and if you try to understand them better. I have been on both sides of that coin.

I have a dear friend that I did have one big misunderstanding with...but we resolved it long ago. We were both wrong. We both admitted it. We are friends to this day. Had we not talked about it or discussed it we would have parted friendship and missed out on a lifetme of being best friends. It was worth the struggle to work it out. You can't mend fences without any tools and conversation and honesty and love, are the best tools I can think of. God gave us the one tool...LOVE and we must supply the other two.

Now since I have only had ONE love.....I can't blame him for anything anyone else did! So I had to pass on that one. But I know plenty of people who will relate to that one also.

I have cried many times because time was passing too quickly. The first time I remember doing that was when my daughter with her new drivers license drove our car out of the driveway and down the street for the first time - BY HERSELF! I sure felt the time passing too quickly then. And again when she left for college....we had lovely smiling goodbye kisses and "have-fun" waves...and then I cried all the way home -- and for the next couple of days! Time was passing too quickly. When our parents died...each one individually....we cried together...where had the time we had with them gone to....and why did go so quickly? And why were we so busy that we didn't take time to tell them just one more time....We love you. But ..now they know it without our saying it. One day in the not too distance future we will join all those parents and friends who have gone before us and then I am sure we will wait patiently for those who will follow us. Time just keeps marching on.
So...yes I do have way too many picture albums and I thought everyone would love to look at them...but it is funny that I am the only one who still loves to look at them! And they are collecting dust these days and someday someone will find them in their garage sale and wonder where the heck they came from!
I still love to laugh. Dave and I laugh a lot. Sometimes at each other!! Scruffy helps supply antics that make us laugh too. My mother had a great sense of humor and she liked to laugh...and my dad loved everyone and loved life - he was a good laugher too (is there such a word?.
Good advise to love like you have never been hurt...that is true forgiveness and trust. How else could you experience a love that is waiting to happen? My daughter has done this beautifully and successfully.

I want to clear up any hurts that I have caused along the way - if that is possible - so that I don't waste any more minutes in my lifetime. It is too short as it is. I have so many people in my life to love that can love me back - I am truly blessed. I still have my soulmate by my side ...laughing with me and loving me and I can laugh with him and love him back....now that is a miracle!
Forgiveness is a special gift from God...help me use it well.