Life and Death

Can't seem to get this written. No time lately and too tired to think. But must write about death and my good friend Joan Feist who slipped away into the arms of her creator early Wednesday morning. She fought a tough fight and had a very very bad last week with a stroke, kidney failure, and lots of pain while going in and out of consciousness. When her daughter, Paula, would sing "Amazing Grace" to her every night, somehow.....Joan would do the Alto harmony -- just humming along...music seemed to bridge their gap on her last days. Her oldest son, Tim, was with her almost constantly for the last week. Susan, the next dtr was there for weekends having to tend to things back in Chicago during the week. Paula had the bulk of the work...but to hear Paula tell it...she had the most rewards and blessings. Paula had a video playing at the funeral home of many shots of Joan, Frank and the children as they were growing up...of the grandchildren and even one great-grandchild. What "olives" around her table she had. They certainly followed the fourth commandment making not only their parents proud, but God Himself must have smiled down on all of them. When I saw Joan last week, she said in her calm, wise, wonderful way....."well you know, Pat, we can't stay here forever..we all have to go home sometime". Well put I said. So...now Joan is with her soul mate, Frank, and I know they are SINGING UP A STORM in heaven! I can almost hear her strong alto voice way down here.
Life....sometimes it seems that is the hardest part! Joan made dying look easy in comparison. It has been a struggle this last month for us. Ups and down with worry about the mass growing in Dave's lung and back and forth to doctors again...scheduling another lung biopsy and then just finding out today that he won't have to have another one (praise God for that!!) as they think they found the "disease" that is growing in the lung. Lots more to write about it, but just suffice to say....living is difficult. But we are still living!! :) Only good souls around us that are praying...prayer partners that are praying and calling....many phone calls from family and friends just checking in to say hello....etc. etc. that support and love has helped us through this again. Haven't had time to think much about calling others these days, but appreciate all the phone calls and cards from you all. Haven't really had time or enery to share this with everyone, mostly those of you who have contacted us. Was waiting until we had talked to everyone, but felt I had to write a short note on Joan's passing and it seemed that Dave's living was important to add to the mix.
I am too tired to write more...another busy day tomorrow. Dave works early and I work all day too. (Poor Scruffy is holding down the fort alone!).
We go back to the lung doctor next week to being more treatments. Thats all for now.
Living....dying....it is all part of the great plan. Sickness, health, good times and hard times, much love and happiness and a little loneliness, and sad times in the mix for this thing called life. Such a mystery.
Peace...

Life is Short

Seems this saying, "Life is Short" doesn't really set in until you reach the age of "way-past maturity"! We all say it, but only when your own life, or the lives of those you love is at stake, do we really understand its full meaning.
Every year Dave and I have a favorite place we like to go....and that is Indiana Beach and, in particular, the Roof Garden for dinner. Now we are getting to where we enjoy lunch there almost as much as dinner. Nice view of the lake, all glass windows up front, nice white linen table cloths and being with your soul mate to share a meal and a stroll hand-in-hand on the boardwalk after dinner....now tell me....what could be more heavenly or more romantic? In the evening we most always see Mr. Spackman and his lady. Mr. Spackman is the owner of Indiana Beach and the brains behind its success. He is in his 90's and still comes to dinner every night at the beach. We are forever grateful to him for building this wonderful place. Unfortunately, the beach is only a summer haven and only open for three months. It closes down after Labor Day. Our last dinner at the beach is always filled with happy memories (and a few sad ones). We were engaged at this very beach, out on the board walk by the second overhead light, May 15th, 1958. Then we reminisce about all the years we have spent coming to Indiana Beach together...first alone, then with two children and finally with grandchildren. We remember the 4th of July fireworks with Davey on Dad's shoulders so he can see and Stacey standing on a picnic table if we can find one. We remember many good times with my Dad, step-mom and brothers and sisters playing 'steal-the-flag' and big bon-fires with roasted hot dogs and marshmallows! A couple of times we drove our big Sea-Sprite boat to the beach for the fireworks, but that proved to be way to scary trying to wind our way back to Buffalo in the dark with kids asleep on the floor and all covered up with towels!
How fun it was when we had grandchildren to go back to "kiddyland" and watch them enjoy the rides. Then they too became old enough to let them roam around on their own while we old folks sat atop the Pronto Princess with a coke watching the ski-show. Yes, many many fond memories. This year Dave said, "it is hard to believe another year has passed so quickly....will we be blessed to share another one next year" ? Yes, the reality of "life is too Short" has set in and we are grateful for every day. We no longer have children or grandchildren close by to enjoy, but we have many many memories that we love to talk about with each other on that last dinner at the beach.
We have a dear friend who is dying. She has chronic cancer and has struggled with it for two years. Her husband died of cancer three years ago. She has been in the hospital for two months now and is on dialysis...but last night she had a stroke and is paralyzed on the right side. They said her time is almost over. We are thankful that the end is near for her as she has suffered enough and it is time for her to go meet her soul mate. She has several children, but only one in Indy, and many grandchildren - several grown with children of their own. She is surrounded by her family, has great faith and is ready to "go". But it brings sadness to us and pain to think about her and just how short life really is. I sang in the St.Lawrence choir with her for over 20 years and we became good friends. Part of growing old is separation. Separation from children, grandchildren, family and old friends....and that makes the saying "life is short" a reality to us. Yes, life really is short. We need to make the most of every day and tell everyone we love...that we love them. So I am telling everyone I know that reads this that I love them.
So enjoy all your "Indiana Beaches" and enjoy every day of your life and count all your blessings....you never know what is just ahead of you.
Seems time has just zoomed by us and goes quicker and quicker as we mature!
Another last dinner at the beach - now just a notation on my calendar for 2005.